Thursday, April 19, 2007

Too new or too noob?

Soon I will be celebrating my six month birthday but I found my funnest time in SL was my first month. This of course can be countered by me witnessing a giant chicken taking down an elephant but that will be written at a later date. For now I will amuse you with tales of my first week in this place...

Ok my first login. How very quaint I succeeded in moving a ball onto the table. A parrot talked to me, I glared at it but it kept talking. Someone gave said annoyance a kiss and it kissed them right back, how very special of them... short bus style.

"I got to get off this f*ing island."

The first thing I became acutely familiar with was the terminology in second life. For example, I was a 'noob' and the people I would speak to would often point this out before thoroughly ignoring my presence. Somehow this image keeps being conjured when I hear that term...

People have inherent flaws hardwired into their psyche that they can either overcome, embrace or scrutinize. Vanity is one of them I find often in this place, this second life through the imaginations of the individual. I've seen dragons Dj dance clubs, wolves posing as sheriffs, 'The Debbies' (ever watch Oblongs? if not you should), shape shifters and even Ronald McDonald makes an occasional appearance to either hang himself of shoot someone. I choose to be over seven feet tall and the first purchase I made was a head of long white hair... go figure.

More than often I get asked about why I look the way I do. I did not purchase a shape, usually they are refrigerator sized bulked men that appear as though they should be in football gear running down the street ramming through everyone in their way to make the goal. I have seen someone do that before... shrugs...

Thankfully there were very amiable noob friendly persons that helped me fix my character a bit, send me to some places for inexpensive or free clothing. (I liked my 'noob' outfit but to appease some of the environments I wanted to wander into to I had to conform) Around my first week of life I met my first friend, lovely red headed lass with a bit of mischievous nature to her. Interestingly enough she was my first friend aside from persons I knew in real life.

The checklist... Decent clothing, check. An inexpensive but OK skin, check. Shoes, check. Bling? What the hell do I need that for, strike that off the list. Hair... double check.

Then came the realization that I was missing something very important but could not for the life of me figure it out. Perhaps it would eventually come to me and lo and behold in that moment a lovely girl started talking to me. I even remember what she looked like, very tan, blond and star tattoos on her arms, plus an extremely detailed skin for her clothing that left very little to the imagination, it helps knowing how to use the cam feature. There was something very wrong in this picture, no one randomly strikes up conversation with me. Women of this caliber avoid me like the plague...

Then it came in the form of an instant message. I had the choice to 'rent' this girl for half an hour. I would have had to sit on a lot of camping chairs for great enormous lengths of time to afford the prices she was throwing at me. So it was rather fun falling back on my base excuse, "Thank you but no thank you, and I am a noob so I am dreadfully poor." Heh, say you are poor and the women run from you like you were some sort of rabid German Shepard.

Then it hit me like a brick through a window, the thing I was missing. I had to amend my statement to her, "... I am not anatomically correct either."



Emilly Orr said...

Y'know, I've had this conversation with guys. It doesn't so much matter. Just as you can be anything you want here, within the capacities of pixillation, you also can imagine anything you want.

On occasion, it has happened, I have ended up with someone who does not yet own their


We've always worked around it. :)

Fuzzball Ortega said...

What wolf posing as sheriff?